Next meeting: Tuesday, March 11, 2-3pm, Willamettes
My heart is still a little sore – about a month ago I got blindsided by family drama sparked by a stressful situation. (My father had surgery; we got the results after the usual wait and they’re quite good, thank you). I took massive offense to something my brother said and to his interpretation of events, and because he blew up at me in a text message I was able to shake with horrified hurt and anger in my living room, take my dog for a walk, talk to a friend, and breathe deeply for a good long time. I chose to respond selectively and texted back, “When they move Pop from ICU to his room please text me the phone number,” rather than responding to our stress- and history-induced emotions, “You think this isn’t hard on me, too, Jacko?”
Well, good on me for not escalating an incendiary situation, but even though the dust has settled I’m still carrying him around. “A personal offense is like a scratch on a phonograph record. I couldn’t move my thoughts beyond my pain. It kept repeating, as if I were stuck within its grooves. There was only one way to play beyond it. I had to forgive them, so my heart could take its form again.” — Laurel Lea
I don’t know that I’ve gotten to forgiveness yet, but I’m chewing that old cud less often and with less gusto…
So, for March’s book club, we shall talk about taking offense, not taking offense, taking offense as a choice, and what Stephen Fry thinks of being offended. We’re going to read chapter 19, Take the High Road, and chapter 20, Laugh at Least Once a Day out loud to each other and discuss. We’ve got a short video from Sara Hacala, too.
Feel free to drop in for discussion whether or not you’ve read the book, and whether or not you were at the first session. You are welcome. Tuesday, March 11, 2-3pm Willamettes.
I saw Ellen Page’s speech at Time to THRIVE and was blown away. (Here’s a link to the video and the transcript.) I wept a bit during the speech, thinking of my mother and her partner and how they’d had to cope. They never came out. Ellen talked about so much more than respect, understanding, and acceptance for LGBT folks – my favorite quote, “And I’m inspired to be in this room because every single one of you is here for the same reason: you’re here because you’ve adopted, as a core motivation, the simple fact that this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another.”
Book club update:
We introduced Sara Hacala, our author and certified etiquette and protocol trainer. We explored nostalgia for better days until Socrates blew that out of the water. I read Forni’s definition of rudeness out loud (the short version: acts that bruise and wound), and we read chapter 1, Know Who You Are.
The shopping cart and driver was prominently featured, but you had to be there…
Watch this space for information about the March 11 meeting and other ideas that float by. Please feel free to contribute and question.
Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude & Attitude for a Polite Planet
February 11, 2014, 2-3 in the afternoon
Study Room 6420
Susan and Susan will go over some salient points from the introduction. (Read the introduction if you like, skim it, or skip it.) Our points:
- Promoting civility from the point of view of business etiquette rather than from morality or religion (the golden rule).
- Things used to be better in the olden days.
- Forni’s definition of rudeness and three responses to rudeness from Fried Green Tomatoes and Juno (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx0z9FjxP-Y ).
- Rude things that curl folks’ hair.
After the intro and discussion, we will read chapter 1, Know Who You Are, aloud and taking turns, and then discuss it.
We expect this will be the pattern for the rest of the meetings unless some more interesting pattern emerges. Susan and Susan will do some intro, and then we will read aloud and discuss chapters.
If this sounds interesting to you, click here to register and tell us which chapters you would like to read and discuss.
Welcome to the “52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude, & Attitude for a Polite Planet” book club!
We chose this book for a few reasons:
- Over the past year we’ve seen a new group promoting civility: etiquette and protocol consultants. It’s been interesting to see civility addressed from a viewpoint that is not morality- or goodness-based, but as an effective way to do better in a business setting.
- The book is very readable.
- After the introduction, each of the 52 ways is addressed in short pieces we can read out to each other and discuss.
We will meet on:
Tuesday 2/11 in study room 6420 from 2-3:00.
Tuesdays 3/11, 4/15, 5/13, and 6/17 in Willamette East and West from 2-3:00.
Please click here to register and select which of the 52 Ways you are most interested in. The books are available for checkout behind the circ desk.
I wanted to remind everyone that with the upcoming holiday season to remember that we do have different cultures and beliefs on campus. Ask questions and volunteer to help celebrate or share with someone that is here without family during this time.
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